The holiday season is huge, in my family. We are weirdly close for a family where the youngest member is a cynical 8 year old, but there it is. Thanksgiving, New Year’s, Christmas, birthdays, Labor Day, Mother’s Day- we get together for them all, and we celebrate with food and yelling and alcohol and crying. But Christmas. Christmas is like our Super Bowl, and we’re -INSERT TALENTED TEAM HERE- and every other family is a peewee football team at your local community center- cute, but just can’t compare. We are the champions of Touching Holiday Season starring Diverse And Loving Yet Dysfunctional Family. The 10, sometimes 12, sometimes 16 of us (depending on if my sister is still seeing her boyf at the time, and if my ex stepdad is seeing his girlf at the time) are pretty much inseparable from Halloween to New Year. So to kick off this blog, and the holiday season, here is the first in my mini post series, My Holiday Season. First up, Halloween!
This is our first big thing of the holiday season, so we like to go big. We sometimes do a Labor Day barbeque, but because of scheduling and work, we don’t do it every year. Halloween we start planning for in August usually, sometimes earlier if our theme is a complex one. We do group costumes, first and foremost. Which you might be thinking ‘that’s not so great, lots of people do those’. And you’d be correct. But, do those people make their costumes by hand every year, have a different theme every year, and then go trick-or-treating? In past years we’ve done Alice in Wonderland, Beauty and The Beast, Avengers, and probably the most simultaneously successful and unrecognized- The Labyrinth. This year we’re doing Inside Out, which I for one am pretty pumped about, because I am going to be Sadness, so I get to wear a sweater and slippers, and be all cozy.
Taking our costumes out for trick-or-treating is a time honored tradition that my bitchy sister has been violently rejecting since the age of fifteen. She claims every year that she is not dressing up or trick-or-treating, but then (usually a week before Halloween) she changes her mind and whines until we find a place for her. So she has had notoriously weird and vague costumes over the years, including: the enchantress from Beauty and The Beast, one of the orange monkey things from Labyrinth, and a SHIELD agent. She’s not much fun, that sister o’ mine.
After we finish trick-or-treating, we go home for another time honored tradition- candy swapping. A brutal, fast paced event where loving sisters and cousins ruthlessly try to end the night with the most chocolate, by making all their shitty red vines and smarties sounds as tempting as possible. My sister fails at this every year, because she always goes for quantity of quality- one year I traded her 20 bite size 3 musketeers for a homemade brownie. Fool.
Honestly, I never really remember what happens after that. We probably eat real food? And somehow we end up back at our house, locking up our candy in steel safes to protect it from each other and from our dogs, one of which is notorious for eating entire bags of Halloween candy and not even getting sick from it.
And that is how the McPentiLees do Halloween! Next Friday- Thanksgiving!